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You cannot beat your wife and still be a good citizen
Here is an important question. Think carefully, because a very great deal might depend upon your answer. Is a man allowed to punish his wife physically, as long as it is in his own home? Answer from one of the following choices: A: Yes, although not with any recognised weapon; B: Yes, although only under provocation; C: No.
It is a trick question actually. There is no right answer, or at least none was given. It was one of some questions posed by Radio 4's Today programme yesterday morning - now answered on its website, and it is C for those who were unsure - as part of a little item about a British citizenship test. It was the only good question actually: the others were about silly things, I thought, such as who burnt Alfred's cakes, and was King Arthur a hobbit and are we subjects or citizens. No one can really be expected to know that sort of stuff, whether recent immigrant or claimant of Norman blood. But this particular one, number six, about the physical chastisement of wives (right or wrong) seemed to me to get to the unbelievably awkward heart of the matter.
British nationality, and a British sense of belonging, has become hugely contentious. That was already so even before September 11, but very much more so now. News of British boys going off to fight for the Taliban, or film footage of British people cheering for Osama bin Laden, and openly selling bin Laden propaganda videos in England's cities, have given a new and harsher spin to the question of what it is to be British.
It has unfortunately become worth asking what are the minimum requirements of a British citizen, or subject, as we used to say - those of us who knew the correct but long since out of date answer to question four.
It cannot be right any longer to depend, as we used to do, on an assumption of a shared understanding of such things. Multi-culturalism has put an end to that unspoken sense of community and shared values. The Today programme may have been trying to be funny, but it is now genuinely possible for a person to enter this country who is genuinely quite innocent of the idea that it is wrong to beat your wife, even if provoked, and even in the privacy of your own home. Such a person might well be ignorant that it is a criminal offence. Such a person might never learn enough English to find out. He might actually be discouraged from learning enough English to find out. Alternatively, such a person might well know wife beating is illegal here, but might believe that British law ought to be ignored, or bent, or even changed, to the requirement of a different culture. He would have every excuse for thinking so, because liberals generally, and the race relations lobby and multi-culturalist activists in particular, have bullied everyone who disagrees into silence, with accusations of racism. So many, many un-British things have taken root; so many British assumptions have been allowed to wither away.
Late in the day, and probably too late, former liberals have woken up to the idea that something ought to be done about the best of British common assumptions. The Labour Home Secretary - and how unthinkable this would have been only recently for a Conservative minister - has proposed citizenship classes and English lessons for immigrants. Hence the Today programme's little item on what a citizenship test, on the American model, might be. Personally, I think a test would be a mistake. There is the very obvious problem about what should happen to a would-be British citizen who fails the test, starting with those who don't speak any English, not to mention the dead certainty that most existing British citizens would probably fail it as well.
There is a part of the American model that I think would be well worth copying, and that is the idea of a ceremony of welcome. Becoming British, as we all know, is to draw a winning ticket in the lottery of mass migration, if not of life, but here it is nothing but a sad, dull, bureaucratic little event. It is well worth celebrating. And taking advantage of this happy moment, with town hall, British flag, gold braid, lady mayoress and local steel band, all new Britons could be subjected to some welcoming remarks, including thoughts about the way we do things here.
The depressing thing is that it is very hard to think of anything upon which almost everyone would agree. However, I have tried. It ought to be possible for the lady mayoress to insist, with as much charm and encouragement as possible, on a certain modest, conflict-avoiding minimum.
I suggest: it is essential to learn good English. You can get help with that. It is prudent to avoid rubbishing British or English culture - presumably you came here because you thought we had something to offer you; it is now your adopted culture, and you are about to become part of it. Obvious ingratitude or contempt will make you extremely unpopular; the public mood has changed on such matters. To insist, ceaselessly and vociferously, on how racist this country is will certainly make it so. There are plenty of existing laws here against racism, and plenty of help in how to use them. It is a criminal offence to go off to fight for other countries against this one, or to call publicly for people's murder, no matter how irritating they may be. Oh yes, and it is a criminal offence to beat your wife, no matter what the temptation. Or your husband.
The Sunday Telegraph | Saturday, November 10, 2001
Comments:
Is Minette the only person left in England to-day whom is capable of any really serious thinking?
Reading her is always like a long awaited breath of fresh air.
Long may she continue to think deep and tell it like it is.
Posted by: Don Robinson | 18 Oct 2006 23:34:03
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Posted by: pupkarik | 3 May 2008 12:12:30
