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Spouse's Rules to keep Cherie from temptation
The verdict of the media upon the prime minister's wife is that she is guilty of extreme lack of judgment. That is bad enough in Caesar's wife; in an aspiring High Court judge it is a disqualification. Judgment, like common sense, is one of those things everyone understands but nobody can define; it must surely have to do with wisdom, discretion and a respect for evidence.
In this foolish story Cherie Blair has shown none of these qualities. She has, apparently, even gone so far as to lie to the prime minister's press office. If so, that was even worse judgment; a legal career does not always survive lying.
The public must by now be tired of the dreary details of the Bristol story. Mrs Blair had every right to buy some property there and to try to get a good price. She has every right to choose her own friends, however flakey, shifty or new age, and to accept their help. If she wants to mess about with crystals, dowsing and the spirit world, that is her business, though devout Catholics are not supposed to.
She had no right to lie or to mislead, but the substance of this "misunderstanding" was apparently trivial. What's really wrong with her is that she seems to have very little idea of how to behave or of who she is.
It was quite eye-poppingly tactless of her, for instance, to buy a very expensive Bristol flat for her student son to live in at a time when her husband and his government are threatening to throw most students even more deeply into debt with top-up fees or some other charge. No rent for Euan Blair, then, while other students struggle to survive with massive overdrafts in nasty overpriced lodgings.
This coincides with the government's posturings about getting more working class children into university; it defies belief. One rule for Cherie's children - as with their top London state school - and another for the rest of us.
Of course that is entirely true in the nature of things in this vale of tears - some people are more equal than others, especially under new Labour - but you might think the silly woman had the wit or the tact to cover it up diplomatically. Buy a flat somewhere else. Just quietly pay Euan's rent.
This has received almost no attention, which is lucky. As public relations it was an astonishing blunder. It is just one of many examples of Cherie behaving badly or, rather, not knowing how to behave. It's clear she sees herself as very central to the new Labour imperium.
Of course, any prime minister's spouse will have great influence, if only pillow power. But being unelected, the spouse ought to wield that power very discreetly. However, discretion seems foreign to Cherie.
For instance she has, unless she recently dumped it, writing paper headed: "From the office of Cherie Booth QC, 10 Downing Street." In fact her home as Mrs Blair is at No 11 and her office as Cherie Booth is at Matrix Chambers. This is just a tacky little symptom of her inability to distinguish discreetly between her role as prime minister's spouse and her role as independent career woman.
I admit it is difficult. But her determination to have things both ways is damaging to the prime minister, as well as to her presentation of herself as a feminist.
I don't often feel the slightest sympathy for either of them. But I do think there has been a very rapid and confusing change in our idea of what spouses are for in public life. What is their function? Why have them at all? Why do you need a spouse for official entertaining, which is nothing to do with her? And why should an independently successful spouse put up with official entertaining at all?
For a start there is absolutely no need for grown-up men and women going about in public hand in hand, grinning at bystanders in a pseudo-sexual glow of aggressive connubiality, like the Blairs. I blame the Americans for this particular vulgarity.
There was a time, until recently and by contrast, when top people's spouses behaved as discreet, non-combatant adjuncts. Denis Thatcher provided an impeccable role model - "always present and never there", according to his daughter Carol. Spouses turned up when essential at functions.
I've had to take part, as someone's wife, in lots of business entertaining and I soon realised that most of it was completely unnecessary, though some of it was fun.
Norma Major, sensible woman, realised it wasn't often essential and stayed at home. Spouses kept their views to themselves, their heads down and their faces out of the papers. But things have changed radically.
A self-respecting woman will no longer put up with the tedious duties of being a public man's wife or with being defined by his role - she wants to do it her way. However, she may well, like Mrs Blair, want to do it his way as well when she feels like it, with all the perks and glamour of his success inflating hers.
Getting away with having things both ways is a highly refined art at the best of times. And these times are difficult for a spouse of poor judgment like Mrs Blair; we are in a period of rapid transition of the consort culture. For those who lack instinctive judgment or who have lost it in all the excitement, there must be rules. I think it's time for a clearly articulated set of Spouse's Rules for top couples. I have some suggestions:
* Do not be tempted to think you are a celebrity or to behave like one. The celebrity culture sends people mad;
* Do not draw attention to yourself (see above);
* Do not imagine you are sharing his (or her) job, or at least never give the impression that you do. Don't say "we";
* Do not do business at official residences;
* Avoid making speeches as far as possible;
* Avoid charities; most charities involve politics;
* Avoid doing anything you would not have been asked to do if you were not the adjunct. Be modest about this;
* Never accept freebies. This alienates those hacks who are not allowed to take them;
* Especially avoid freebies paid for by foreign taxpayers, or monopolising a public beach in Italy;
* Do not entertain party donors privately;
* In fact, keep private entertaining to an absolute minimum. Cut down on public functions - you are often very optional;
* Check the criminal records of everyone you entertain privately;
* Do not wave to the public, go walkabout or press the flesh;
* Do not expose your flesh, particularly not your bosom at funerals (if applicable);
* Observe public conventions, however silly, such as curtseying, whenever your spouse would do so. You must represent him (or her), not yourself, or stay at home;
* Avoid servants as far as possible. Having lots of flunkeys and flimflam leads to Red Carpet Fever, as in the royal family, to greed, delusions of grandeur and then to tabloid disclosures;
* Get a court jester to laugh you into a sense of proportion; hire Rory Bremner;
* Remember that if this seems tough, it won't last long and the rewards are staggering.
The Sunday Times | Sunday, December 08, 2002
